Being aware of and thankful for good things.
Our ability to appreciate life directly influences the way we perceive it. And, by extension, how we show up to each present moment.
When we’re actively practicing gratitude, even the most ordinary moments feel valuable. We savor that first sip of our morning coffee ☕️. We squeeze a little harder when hugging a good friend. We treasure silence, a good book, or a long walk.
In other words: we live our lives with more intention, joy, and meaning.
When we fail to cultivate gratitude, life loses its color. We resent our routines. We take our loved ones for granted. We feel entitled to happiness rather than appreciative of the happiness we have.
In other words: we live our lives on autopilot, unfulfilled and disconnected 💔.
In most dictionaries, you’ll find gratitude described as “a state of being grateful” or just “thankfulness.” But this character trait goes beyond simply acknowledging what we’re thankful for.
So, we created a new definition.
Gratitude 📕: A sense of thankfulness and joy in response to receiving a gift, an experience, or good fortune.
It’s an emotional state we choose to live in, even when things are tough. It’s a recognition that we’re not owed happiness but that happiness is something we can appreciate.
Just take a look at what some of the greatest minds of our time have to say about gratitude and its function👇
So while building bravery and cultivating an open mind are important, gratitude is the foundation we need to lay first. From there, everything else flows.
Saying “I’m grateful for this moment” is a nice sentiment. But it doesn’t quite capture the magnitude of what gratitude is 🏔.
Honing your ability to be grateful is a practice. And like any skill, it requires time and effort to master.
Patrick Fitzgerald’s breakdown of gratitude is a helpful framework for understanding what it takes to get there. According to him, gratitude has three key components:
1️⃣ A warm sense of appreciation for somebody or something
2️⃣ A sense of goodwill toward that person or thing
3️⃣ A disposition to act on what flows from appreciation and goodwill
To Fitzgerald, gratitude isn’t just a fleeting feeling. It’s an action we take in response to someone or something we’re thankful for. It’s a muscle we need to flex and strengthen every day if we want to experience just how good it can make us—and others—feel.
And as it turns out, gratitude plays a much more important role than making us present to life’s magic.
Gratitude’s Function
While sending an out-of-the-blue thank you text to your parents or taking a moment to appreciate a beautiful flower on our morning walk can feel good, gratitude’s benefits aren’t just skin-deep.
This character strength has a real, tangible impact on our lives—and the world around us. Just take a look at some of the most important roles it plays in our global society.
🔑 The Moral Barometer
You know that feeling when you do something nice for somebody, and they don’t even say thank you? It feels lousy, right? Gratitude provides us with a sense of fairness and balance. It’s our internal moral compass that tells us whether or not a person has treated us fairly.
🧠 The Moral Motivator
When we feel appreciated, we’re more likely to treat others with kindness and compassion, and vice versa. Gratitude stimulates our moral behavior—it’s the glue that keeps society functioning.
🛡 The Moral Reinforcer
Being on the receiving end of gratitude makes us want to act in ways that will earn us more of it. It’s like a feedback loop that encourages us to keep up the good work.
By now, it should be clear that gratitude doesn’t just make us feel good. It’s an essential character strength that helps us build relationships, foster a positive community, and be our best selves.
But how do we go about cultivating it? How do we become more grateful people?
The answer is simple: we need to practice.
On a logical level, we understand that we have much to be grateful for in our modern-day lives.
Even if we aren’t living in a multimillion-dollar penthouse 🏡 or driving a brand-new Tesla 🚙, we have a lot to appreciate. We no longer live in caves, after all. We have things like running water, electricity, and the internet—luxuries that would have been unimaginable to our ancestors.
But on an emotional level, do we really stop to appreciate these things? Do we take the time to savor life’s simple pleasures? Or are we too busy rushing from one thing to the next to notice them?
Somewhere between knowing this and actually feeling it, there’s a disconnect. A big one.
The first step in growing your gratitude muscle 💪 is self-awareness. Pay attention to how often you both feel and express gratitude throughout the day. Chances are, it’s not as often as you think.
And that’s OK. The key is to become aware of it so you can start to change it.
Here are a few questions to reflect on:
➡️ When something doesn’t go your way, do you see the negative or find the silver lining?
➡️ Do you take the time to savor life’s small pleasures, or do you rush through them?
➡️ When was the last time you verbally or physically expressed gratitude to someone?
➡️ What circumstances make it more likely that you will experience and/or express gratitude?
➡️What is the biggest reward you get from expressing gratitude? Is it more rewarding to show appreciation to certain people? Why or why not?
➡️ Are there people in your life to whom you haven’t expressed gratitude to? Is this just an oversight, or are you intentionally holding it back? If so, why?
➡️ What concerns, if any, do you have in expressing gratitude to certain people?
➡️ If someone does not express gratitude towards you, are you more or less likely to express gratitude towards them?
➡️ When you express gratitude towards others, what effect does it have on them?
➡️ To what degree do you express gratitude to others? Does it come from a deep feeling of appreciation or because it feels like the right thing to do?
Our collective itch for m-o-r-e gets in the way of appreciating what we already have. But when you make a conscious effort to notice all that you’ve been given, you’ll find that thankfulness does way more than just make you feel good.
There’s no denying that if everyone strived to practice gratitude more regularly, the world would be a better place 🌎💗. But as human beings, we tend to be a little bit on the egotistical side. Helping all of mankind isn’t as alluring as helping ourselves.
So if you need an extra boost of motivation as to WHY gratitude is worth your time and attention, here are all the benefits you can expect when you practice it on a consistent basis:
😍 More optimism and a tendency to lean toward positive thinking
💪 More energy, enthusiasm, and determination for the future
🎉 Higher levels of emotional satisfaction and vitality
⚡️ Lower levels of stress, anxiety, loneliness, envy, neuroticism, and materialism
⚓️ Better able to manage depression
👏🏼 Reduced inclination to judge others of their successes and possessions
🤗 Increased inclination toward generosity
👥 More prosocial behavior and open-mindedness as it correlates with religion and spirituality
💫 Longer lifespan and more vitality
✅ More likely to achieve your goals over the course of your lifetime
💗 Improved cardiovascular health and immune functioning
⭐️ Greater capacity for happiness, spirituality, and forgiveness
🙌🏽 Deeper sense of hope for the future
Every day, evidence builds in the case for daily gratitude. The benefits are vast, and the science is solid. The more you let gratitude lead the way, the more your life will change for the better.
And what better way to start practicing this profound character strength than to start noticing how others show gratitude—and seeking out opportunities to do the same?
Your mission—should you choose to accept it—is to become a master at recognizing gratitude in action. Being able to spot it alive and well in the wild is the first step in learning how to express it yourself.
And trust us: once you start paying attention, you’ll not only see it everywhere, but you won’t be able to deny the ripple effects of positivity 🌊💞it has once it’s unleashed. It truly is a powerful force.
Step 1️⃣: Strength Spotting
You know that feeling you get when you see a stranger do something kind or selfless? It doesn’t just make your day—it restores your faith in humanity 🙌🏽. These are what we like to call “strength spotting” moments.
Being able to recognize acts of gratitude is the first step in modeling the behavior yourself. And modeling is one of the most powerful forms of influence.
So keep your eyes peeled for opportunities to strength spot. You might see it in the form of a colleague giving praise to another for a job well done or a neighbor sitting on their porch, fully engulfed in a beautiful sunset. Use your in-app journal [LINK] to jot down these moments as they happen.
Step 2️⃣: Gratitude Planning
The perfect moments to express gratitude pass as quickly as they come. Rather than continuously kicking yourself for missing the moment, get ahead of the game by deciding ahead of time when and how you’ll show gratitude.
This is what we call “gratitude planning ✍️.” It might look like setting a daily or weekly intention to express gratitude in some way, whether it’s writing a thank-you note, calling a family member just to chat, or leaving a kind comment on someone’s social media post. Simply making the intention to do it will increase the likelihood that you’ll actually follow through.
Pro tip: choose an area of your life or a specific situation that you feel the least grateful for. It will be more challenging, but the payoff will be that much sweeter.
Step 3️⃣: Expansion
Humans are wired for comfort and familiarity. Growth of any kind goes against our nature. But if you want to reap the benefits of a gratitude-filled life, you have to be willing to expand your comfort zone.
If it’s easy for you to say thank you to co-workers or write down a weekly gratitude list, challenge yourself to go deeper. Look for new ways to use old strengths.
Can you find something to be grateful for about a challenging situation you’re facing? What about a person who’s been especially difficult to get along with? What about a quality about yourself that you’re not particularly proud of?
Pushing the limits is where the real magic happens ✨. Trust us when we say that the more you expand your gratitude practice, the more you’ll have to be grateful for.
Unfortunately, good intentions and personal commitments are not always going to be enough to make lasting change. Life happens, and sometimes it derails even the best-laid plans.
While everyone can benefit from a gratitude practice, there are certain personality traits and life circumstances that may make it more difficult to get—and stay—in the habit of expressing gratitude.
Here are a few potential roadblocks to consider:
❌ Being in victim mode
❌ A sense of entitlement
❌ Materialism
❌ Lack of self-reflection
❌ Narcissism
Does it seem like gratitude comes naturally to some people? As it turns out, there are certain personality traits and life circumstances that make expressing gratitude easier:
✅ An optimistic outlook on life
✅ Spiritual awareness
✅ Intrinsic religiousness
✅ Having empathy, humility, and a broad perspective
✅ The ability to perceive the elements in your life as a gift
Striking the right balance of gratitude expression is also important. Underuse of gratitude can occur out of a sense of mindlessness or unawareness. Maybe you’ve experienced too much hurt, or maybe you’re lacking the appropriate emotional skills to properly express how you feel. Either way, gratitude is a muscle you haven’t flexed in a while.
Overuse, on the other hand, can make any expression of gratitude seem contrived. If the person on the receiving end of your appreciation doubts your sincerity, then the purpose of gratitude is lost. Not to mention, having too much gratitude for what you have in life
can keep you from reaching for more. So paying attention to the balance in which you’re expressing gratitude is crucial.
We’re all human and, therefore, all susceptible to embodying these traits from time to time. The key is to be aware of them so you can catch yourself when they happen and make a conscious effort to overcome them.
The journey to a gratitude-filled life is not linear. Some days, tapping into a thankful heart will feel effortless 💗. Others, it will feel impossible.
If you find yourself relapsing into old, ungrateful patterns, don’t beat yourself up. Take a few deep breaths and do some simple activities to gently guide yourself back to the path of gratitude.
Author Timothy Miller lays out a simple, four-step process for pulling yourself out of a gratitude rut in his book “How To Want What You Have.”
1️⃣ Identify your ungrateful thoughts. What are you telling yourself that’s keeping you from feeling thankful? Are there any patterns or themes?
2️⃣ Formulate grateful, supporting thoughts. What are some things you can tell yourself that will help you feel more grateful? How can you reframe your situation in a more positive light?
3️⃣ Substitute the grateful thoughts for the ungrateful thoughts. See if you can catch yourself in the act of thinking ungrateful thoughts. As soon as you do, switch to your grateful thoughts.
4️⃣ Translate your inner feeling into outer action. Feeling grateful is one thing, but expressing it is what will really help you make lasting change.
Relapses happen, and they’re by no means an indicator of failure. The 🔑 is to be gentle with yourself, identify the thoughts and behaviors that led to the relapse, and make a conscious effort to change them.
If you’re struggling to get back on track with your gratitude, please visit our Resources section for a list of books to read, music to listen to, and movies to watch [LINK]. You can also go back and read your answers from some of the exercises to remind yourself of why gratitude is so important to you.
We’ve gone over all the nifty, life-changing benefits of being in a state of thankfulness can offer you. But building this character strength has a ripple effect that reaches every single person you interact with.
The co-worker you left a sweet Post-It Note for may feel inspired to go home and express gratitude towards their families. The store clerk you thanked sincerely may be so motivated to keep working hard that they get a promotion. The family member you gave a gratitude-themed gift to may give out 10 more in return.
Gratitude isn’t just about feeling better. It’s about creating a happier, more connected world. Here are just a few examples:
💒 It’s been scientifically proven that expressed appreciation between marital partners is one of the cornerstones of thriving marriages.
💼 When gratitude is incorporated into existing leadership and management training programs, organizations are more likely to foster more appreciative office climates.
💰 And when employees benefit from gratitude, it’s likely to improve organizational outcomes like job satisfaction, moral loyalty, citizenship behavior, employee turnover, profitability, and customer retention.
So yeah—gratitude can do a whole lot more than just make you feel ooey and gooey inside. Committing to putting more of this character strength into the world will only make it better.
